He rose to his
feet, left the hotel room, wandered off towards the elevator and punched the
‘L’ button.
The lobby was
sparsely dotted with people milling about, some toting luggage, others chatting
in small meandering clusters. Several people sat in the spacious lobby reading
magazines beneath the shaded twenty foot tall windows. He wandered into the
lobby, stopped and did a final system check making certain he wasn’t drooling,
staggering or leaning on anyone. No one was staring or pushing him away. He
took that as a good sign and went in search of wherever that coffee smell was
coming from.
He stepped into the breakfast nook and moved towards the coffee pots, poured a cup and turned back to the nook. A familiar face caught his attention. He was waving at Todd from the far side of the nook. It was that lawyer from the meeting…damn…what was his name? Gill…Gillbert… Gillman.
Todd waved back and tried to smile. If only he could have had a few moments alone to try and sober up. Maybe he could just go to the other side of the room. He didn't know the guy anyway.
He turned, moved to the other side of the nook and took a seat, gingerly sipped his hot coffee and nearly gagged at the intrusion. A wave of nausea overtook him and he slumped and wrapped his arms around his stomach.
“Bad night, huh?”
Todd glanced up to see the lawyer standing over him.
“You mind if I sit down?”
“Uh,” Todd said, “yeah, yeah have a seat. I'm not going to be very good company, I'll tell you that.”
The lawyer took a seat across the booth from him and placed his own cup of coffee on the table. "I'm surprised to see you up and around today. You were in pretty bad shape."
Todd squinted back at him. “What do you mean?”
“You don't remember?”
“Look, I don't really feel like talking. That's kinda' why I sat on the other side of the room from you. Nothing personal, I just need a little time to myself right now.”
“I understand that,” the lawyer said, “but you got to understand, we were worried about you. You left that meeting in a daze. You didn't say a word. They sent me to follow you. I didn't know what you were gonna’ do. You walked straight to the hotel driver, handed him a hundred euro note and told him to get you a fifth of tequila. Then you turned and went to your room. You were like a ghost, man.”
Todd sighed and cradled his coffee within the palms of his hands. “Hmm, don't remember.”
“You're alright now I guess though huh?” The lawyer said, his heavy Tennessee accent coming through.
Todd grimaced and lifted his hand to his temple. “Little headache but, yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for askin'.”
The table fell into an uneasy silence. Finally the Lawyer spoke. “The uh… the ricky girl, you must have known her, huh?”
Todd flashed him a black look. “Listen, I don't mean to be rude—”
“I don't know what the Okies do, but us Tennessee boys don't step over a man when he's hurting. I need to know you're gonna be alright before I leave. That’s just the way I roll.”
Todd leaned back in his chair and flipped his hands. “What do you want to know? Look, I'm fine—”
“You're not fine. Those docs mentioned the ricky girl and you went zombie.”
Todd sighed. Look, I just want to sit here and have my cup of coffee—”
“I ain’t going anywhere,” the lawyer interrupted.
Todd leaned forward in his seat. “You're a pushy bastard aren't you? Okies been known to slap the stupid outa' pushy Tennessee boys like you!”
The Lawyer glared back. After a moment he smiled. “Sruttin' like a damn peacock and you can barely lift your coffee cup.” He looked around the room and shook his head.“Okies.”
Todd flared and softened. The two men looked at each other and began laughing.
“Oh…”Todd groaned raising his hands to his temples, “can't laugh—don't laugh.”
The table quieted and the Lawyer became serious. “You should know. I'm an alcoholic. I think I've been through what you’re going through. There’s a lot of help—”
Todd chuckled and winced. “So that’s what this is about. It’s
a damned intervention...except, I’m not an alcoholic. Don’t mean I ain’t workin’
on it though.”
“Okay,” the
Lawyer said. “I can see you really don't want to talk about it right now. I'll
leave you my card. If you ever—”
“She's my wife,”
Todd said stopping the lawyer mid-sentence.
The lawyer stared
at him. “Who, the ricky girl? I thought she was married to the prime minister—”
“My ex wife.”
The lawyer
frowned and nodded. “I see.”
“You're wondering
how I could have wound up with the ricky girl, aren’t you.”
“No,” the lawyer
said. “But you must have had some pretty good chops.”
Todd smiled. “I
was…useful.”
“Hmm,” the lawyer
grunted. “But you still love her?”
Todd sent him
another black look
“Okay,” the
lawyer said. “I’ll drop it.”
Todd looked away
and gazed out into the room. “She's dead.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Todd sighed and
lifted the lawyer’s card from the table. “Nashville Tennessee, huh?”
“Yup.”
“I lived in
Nashville for a while. I liked it.”
“What were you
doing there?”
“Oh we were, the
ex and I were doing some post graduate stuff at Vanderbilt—”
“Vanderbilt? That's
my alma matter.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but I'm
guessing I was there a whole lot earlier than you. You must be what, twenty
five, thirty?”
“Yeah, ‘bout
that.”
The lawyer
smiled. “I passed forty a while ago.”
Todd stiffened in
his seat. “Say, you didn't happen to go to school with James Donahue the Nobel
laureate did you?”
“Oh hell yeah,”
the lawyer said brightening, “him and Blaze and ol…Bing the Mayor.”
Todd felt the
bile rise in his throat. “You knew Blaze Jenkins?”
“Everybody knew
Blaze and Jim. Blaze was one of my best friends I’m proud to say. We still get
in touch now and again.”
Todd sat staring,
unable to pull his eyes away. Finally he was able to speak. “Yeah, he and I hit
it off pretty good too. Small world. He was a Catholic priest when I knew him.”
The lawyer
snorted. “I know. Ain't that a kick in the shins? I swear to God, he wasn't
even religious back at school.”
Todd smiled. “You
don't uh, you don't know how I could get in touch with him do you? Just to make
sure he came through the day alright.”
The lawyer
nodded. “Oh he made it through the day. That much I know. He's kind of a mess I
guess. I understand he spends most of his time in a bar now. In fact he’s the
manager.”
“The Manager? The
bar manager...Father Jenkins?”
The lawyer
snorted. “Yeah I know. Bar manager with a PHD under his belt. Go figure. Him
and Jim Donahue both.”
“James Donahue?”
“Yeah, he’s a
mess too. They took away his Nobel. He’s been completely discredited. I guess
it all really hit the fan after the day.”
“Where is
Fath...Blaze Jenkins’s working, did you say?”
“Downtown Nashville.
You familiar with the Crazy Horse Saloon?”
Todd smiled. “I
know exactly where the Crazy Horse Saloon is.”
***
She sat near the base of her favorite tree, her blond locks caressing her face in the soft summer breeze. She reached and pulled her hair away from her eyes and sat listening to the trickling of the river. Birds chirped and insects buzzed. The delicate smell of pine and wild flowers brought with it a shallow hint of contentment, a sham, like a condemned inmate escaping briefly into a sweet childhood memory.
She sat, her back resting against a smaller tree looking up into the blue sky watching the clouds drift away towards the western horizon. She glanced back and scanned the leafy canopy once more and continued clicking her tongue the way she had been doing since coming out here.
She spotted it and held her breath. A large grey squirrel was warily eyeing her from up in the canopy. She smiled up at the creature. “Come on, little guy, just a little bit further. I brought you an apple.”
She gingerly held a quartered piece of apple and continued clicking her tongue. The squirrel scooted down the trunk of the tree and stopped a good five feet away.
“Come on, come on,” she cooed, “just a little bit further.”
After a moment she resumed her tongue clicking.
In an instant the squirrel closed the distance and sat eyeing her. She slowly pushed the apple towards the squirrel. To her delight the squirrel took the apple from her hand, dropped to the ground and sat eating it beside her.
The banging of a screen door pulled her from her melancholy reverie and sent the squirrel bounding back up the tree.
“M-miss. Lunch is r-r-Lunch is r-served.”
She pulled her hand up to shield the mid-afternoon sun. “You scared my squirrel away!” she yelled, her blue eyes flashing at the old man.
He had stepped out of the cabin and was now standing on their makeshift porch. He stood squinting out into the day, his hands working against the rickety porch railing. “He’ll be back. He always c-c-comes b-back.”
“He’s getting better,” she said. “I think I’m training him. I think he knows me; knows my clicking sound.”
“You s-should take a blanket or s-something with you to s-it on out there on the ground. That spot has b- it has b-bu... insects. Maybe even some t-t-ticks. Could get lime d-disease or something.”
She stood up and began brushing her bottom off. “Next time you go to the store maybe you could get some bug spray...and apples. He really likes apples. What did you make for lunch? I’m really not very hungry.”
“Just tuna s-sandwiches and soup,” the old man said.
She brushed her hands off and made her way onto the porch. “You’re stuttering less and less, you know.”
“Really? you t-think so?”
“I know so.”
“I d-don’t know if you remember, but I didn’t used to stutter at all.”
“So you said,” she answered passing him by.
They made their way into the kitchen and the old man sat down.
“Go ahead and eat,” she said. I’m just going to freshen up a little.
She made her way through the ramshackle cabin, into her curtained off bedroom and took a seat in front of her three legged vanity.
Her eyes wandered over the mirror and set on a three by five copy of a portrait pushed up into a corner of the hazy glass. It was a photo of a beautiful man holding an infant in his arms. Her eyes wandered to the ebony haired child looking back at her from the photograph. A groan came up from her soul. Her lips began to tremble. She kissed her finger and pressed it to the photograph. Tears welled in her eyes once more as she sat staring at her long abandoned dream.
She sighed, sniffed and carefully removed the long blond wig allowing her jet black hair to cascade over her shoulders.
“Do you want milk or water?” the old man said from the table.
“I’ll take water, Pete,” she answered, her voice breaking. “I’ll just be a moment, I’m having a...hard... day today...just, I’ll be there when I can.”
She turned back and looked into the mirror, carefully removed her blue contact lenses and sat for a time considering the sad reflection staring back at her. Her emerald green eyes filled with tears. She bowed her head, gripped the sides of the vanity and wept.
